RayFan9876

Oh god, I cannot describe how amazing this is. I've been saving up $1100 for the Komplete 8 Ultimate [music] software pack by Native Instruments, and now I have it. The samples are so maddeningly high quality they now cause Logic to lag with just more than a few tracks running, and it usually takes a good ten or twenty seconds to load each plugin or instrument. Nonetheless, it was an incredibly worthy investment, and you can checkout what I've made with it in the upcoming 30th Revenge of the Dark soundtrack video!

I'll post a link to it here once it's up, which will probably be within the next two days.

EDIT: Here ya go: www.youtube.com/watch?v=ri-o65…

This is sort of an odd journal, fitting for a long weekend (I include Friday in the weekend, but screw Sunday, it hasn't come around yet). A weekend that has probably changed my life forever. It's a little bit philosophical with a tiny smidgen of personality thrown in, so if you are a shallow individual or short on time, you best not read this at the moment.




Try walking up to someone, preferably someone you've been acquainted with in the past for comfort's sake, and try asking them their opinion something seemingly harmless, but considered socially unacceptable to the mass majority, or better yet, not even considered at all. Take "bestiality" for example (for those unfamiliar, it means the sexual relations between a human and another species). I can guarantee you that a large portion of the answers you receive in this day and age will probably be either very iffy, or completely unsupportive of the concept. Before you think anything first, yes, this is very similar to the concept of LGBTQ rights, but I'm mainly focusing on a broader outlook, and an example that hasn't been addressed commonly yet, much like the LGBTQ in the 70's and 80's, although this is even more uncommon. When you ask for the person-in-question's reasoning for their decision, they will most likely either laugh, give a short response that isn't really an answer at all, or create illogical excuses to back up their arguments when confronted with a more practical argument. Why? It's quite obvious: the concept of what is "socially acceptable" and what isn't has been so ingrained in our heads that "right" and "wrong" are what it is taught to be and what is told to us. Obviously in our universe, one plus one equals two, and a cube has six sides. Quite frankly, even still, the majority of people who question social boundaries are in them selves being quite hypocritical, raising questions such as "what if one plus one isn't two? Why does it have to be two? What if one plus one is potato?" Because, mister question, maths are merely the way our universe is constructed, and they are the most basic form of anything that makes logical sense. There is no philosophical answer. It's like stating... you know what, if I try to give another example, I'll only be confronted with the same disregard for physics as one plus one for no reason being a physical complexion of plant cells. Sure, perhaps physics work differently in another universe, but our brains have not been built to comprehend another universe where the same laws don't apply (sorry Final Fantasy, humans do not have unlimited potential).

These ideas of what is socially acceptable that have been conjured up in the minds of humans (yes, only humans have communicated to create these fictional concepts) have been passed down from peer to peer, from instructor to student, from parent to child, and from caretaker to pet. We as humans can't wait to share our opinions and ideas, and we try ever so hard to convince others that we are right (shut UP potato logic). Sometimes, these ideas catch on and gradually become part of mainstream society, that thing some of us blindly and even unwittingly follow, even if trying to be a total hipster. Every single thing we do in our daily lives that isn't programmed into our DNA has been an idea created by someone that has managed to get sucked into the whirlpool of our every day life. Now I'm not saying that's always a bad thing, because there have been many ideas created that serve only to help us as a group and as individuals, but naturally, we don't even blink an eye at most everything we know. We flick a switch, the light turns on. We don't care about exactly what's going on in there every time we do it, we just want it to light the damn room.  When we hear the doctor suggest to us radiation therapy as a treatment for cancer, many of us only care about following the instructions given without realising the side-effects. If we see a naked human walking around in public, many of us will exclaim "yuck, that's wrong!" Admittedly, almost all of the ideas ever formed are taught to us in our childhood years, when we don't know any better, when we believe that all those older than you are wizards that hold the keys to the universe.

Having grown up in a severely distorted environment, at least according to whatever the social standard is, I've been a victim of immense physical and emotional abuse, bullying, isolation, loneliness, hatred, shunning, and on occasion even a complete lack of understanding and/or knowledge of many of these so called "ideas" that are taught to most anybody as they are growing up. One example of that is "love." This feeling has always been a mystery to me, as it's never been something I've felt, nor has it ever been I've particularly cared for. Obviously I had heard of it, but I didn't think it applied to me; I thought of myself as someone where a lot of what was considered "normal" did not apply to me. And through it all, I have a much looser grasp on the concept of what is socially acceptable and what isn't. Actually, I now know as much about what mainstream society is and what is expected from it as anybody, if not more, but I still do not apply many things to my person. Why? Why should I? I have my own mind, and it isn't for other people to try to tell me how to use it. Long ago I've lost interest in school, because I can willingly learn any of what we pay for such as group education, on websites such as Wikipedia, and of course, handy ol' Mister Google. In my mind, the real question is why in the world we even send our children or younger ones to buildings to learn at a fixed, invariable pace where the pressure to conform is all the more powerful. Do we want the future generation to fade even further from the concept of eccentricity, or better yet, the chance to be an entirely unique being? Look at your "average" person of today: They go to school from ages six to eighteen, then decide whether or not to continue their education further to allow for more job options, they GET a job and pay - you know, with that human invention "money" - for their house, flat or condo, mindlessly work for and follow your boss's instructions, get married, have kids, and repeat. Tell me, does that sound interesting? Perhaps for some it does, and perhaps for some, that's all they want. I however do not understand why anyone would sell their soul in such a way, to be such a conformist in every sense.

"Ooh look, I designed a DeviantART journal skin, I'm an entrepreneur who breaks the social boundaries" - NO, think big, much bigger. And while you're at it, unscrew your head off of your neck, metaphorically of course, and take it in word-for-word:
--- I would rather spend my time doing what I love, and turn it into a living.


Q: "Isn't it really hard to get a job doing only what you love?"
--- A: I said think BIG.

Q: "I mean, isn't it incredibly difficult to make a living off doing only what you love? Where's the hard work involved? I worked damn hard to feed my children!"
--- I don't know, you tell me where the hard work is involved. Better yet, don't tell me, tell yourself where all this seemingly unnecessary hard work that you don't enjoy comes from.

Q: "It comes from... er... what?"
--- Do you even know?

Q: "Yeah, of course."
--- Then where?

Q: "Um... my job?"
--- Then why in the world do you do it?

Q: "To put breakfast on the table of course, I love my family more than anything."
--- Don't you think there aught to be other ways of putting food on your table that don't involve working for someone or something?

Q: "You mean like starting a company?
--- Exactly!

Q: "I would love to, but isn't that a lot of work?"
--- I don't know, do you consider doing what you love "work?"

Q: "No... wait, so it doesn't require a degree in anything?"
--- Why would it? Degrees are obtained for one reason: to prove to a company that you have the skills to work as a part of their team. It's not like you need an education to live in a nice house, all they care about is that you pay for the city's property. How you get that money is completely up to you:

I for one have been busy these past few years creating a video game based off my childhood inspiration: Rayman. The project is a lot of work, and I think that I could very well have it completed in my early twenties. Of course I enjoy creating this game, I put my heart and soul and emotion into all six sides of its physical dimension in determination to one day present it to the publisher Ubisoft, the creator of Rayman, in hopes they will accept it as a worthy addition to the fantastic series. If they do, then I've instantly made myself and those who work with me known as innovative entrepreneurs, and now our (future) indie group can create more games, and possibly even movies, or other forms of entertainment for others to see. Instantly, we have money flow, and there's a good chance it will be much bigger than what you might get from the average to low-end job. However, money is merely a bonus. I am doing what I love, AND I'm getting money for it. Was it hard? I don't know the meaning of the word hard, it was merely me doing what I love with a fiery passion and staying true to who I am. This is something that I've learned because of my lack of normal knowledge. Conformity is an acquired skill, and I'm proud to say that I keep it merely as a skill that can be used to interact with my adversaries, the conformists, and not lead it as a lifestyle because Jimmy over there thought it was cool.

Of course, this being said, I assume that doing what you love is productive and is something others would find useful, thus arousing their interest. If it isn't, then... perhaps I can save that for another journal.



I'm glad that I have friends who have been with me every step of the way, namely Rayfist090 and Sabertooth1000000000. I especially give thanks for this weekend to for being such an amazing listener with a beautiful personality. She helped me through this chaotic weekend of emotional turmoil when no one else could.


~RayFan9876

So, as I'm working on ROTD and rendering a cutscene, I'm bamboozled one morning to find out that my portable hard drive, the drive containing nearly all of my work, could not be recognized by the computer. There are usually some obvious answers, right? I've done all of the following:

- Used a different USB port
- Used a different USB cable
- Used the FireWire port
- Used the eSATA port
- Used this strange foreign port only this drive seems to have
- Done all of the above on two other computers
- Taken it out of the case and test it in all seven of my SATA slots

NOE AVAEIL. When powered, it spins up just fine and the drive appears to be unharmed. Wtf you ask? Well I then found out that the controller chip is broken, the thing on the hard drive that indexes your files and makes them readable.

Da result? I've sent my drive down to California to professionally recover my files. They're all there, they're just mixed up in the index of the drive and therefore unreadable. Now they were supposed to email me updates constantly on their progress and have the drive back to me no later than a week from whence I sent it, but it's been nearly three weeks and I haven't received a single email.

HHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

They better not have fucked over my drive.

Tagged by


1. What was your first video game?
Super Mario Brothers Deluxe for the Gameboy Colour, shortly followed by Rayman 1 on the PC.

2. Who is your favorite actor?
Leonardo DiCaprio or Jeremy Irons

3. What is your favorite TV show?
The Simpsons and Futurama. Matt Groening's shows are brilliant.

4. Paper or Plastic?
Plastic. I like the feel of it... fun to chew as well.

5. Why are you still here on dA?
Because I'm a monkey's uncle. Plus art stuff.

6. Who is your inspiration for art?
A French guy, I don't know his name.

7. Who is your favorite artist here on dA?
I'm not much of a browser, so I couldn't say.

8. Do you believe in God?
Hell no! (Irony anyone?) I'm a full-on Atheist. I've thought about it for a long time, and it's the only theory I can relate to, plus it's the only one that makes any factual sense.

9. Who is your favorite, mom or dad? >
Well considering my dad completely abandoned my family when I was little....


10. What does a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
Anything that has equal or less density than that of wood.



Anyone feel free to post their own answers to these questions in the comment box below.